Feeling Sick

My Gut is Wrenching in pain.
Why did I decide to do this.

My days Been Pretty Shit.
I Didn't Even go to School.
Why? I'm Tired. I'm Just fed Up.
I don't even Know what I'm Fed Up with.
I Went to my grandmothers Today.
Talked to An Old friend On the phone.
He's Amazing.
He's The one I Worry about all the time.
He's the One Who doesn't Even realize the Importance of our Friendship is.
He Told me something.
That someone ; I'm not saying who ; Is spreading Rumors about me.
I'm not even going to Say what this rumor is.
What Surprised Me most ; Is that It was a Close Friend who Decided to say this.
Im Just Fucking Sick and Tired of everything.
I'm Tired Of smiling.
I'm Tired Of Consoling people All The time.
I'm Being harsh. I Know Im not really like this.
Im just Sick Of it.
My tooth Hurt a Little When I Was at my moms.
She asked If I Wanted An Oxycontin.
I Said Yes.
How stupid am I? I Knew How powerful this pill Is.
I Said It due to the Soothing Sensation it gives my Body.
I Was Sick of Everything ; And I Just wanted a Break.
I thought This could be an Opportune Moment .
Soon enough It Started to work.
I Couldn't feel Anything.
I Layed In bed. My mind was Blank. I Let go of Every worry That consisted in my Body.
And Now Im Just sick.
Physically sick.
I'm Ready to start Barfing any Second Now.
How stupid am I To take my Grandfathers Medication?
I wasn't Stupid. I Was Desperate.
Desperate to Pour out My conscious.
One Little Pill Is Killing me.
Ill never make that Decision again.
You see ; Everyone Learns from their Mistakes.
I Can't Carry all these Virulent and angered Thoughts anymore.
Its a Poison I'm Feeding to myself.
I Need a Break.
I Need to let go.
I'm Finished Now.
Even If I Still Must feel Sick.